Going Home

Golfer and I just returned from a trip home to Ohio.  Although I'm not sure any more that home is what it is.  This was an emotional trip for me.  My sister is in hospice care.  My niece is dealing with the thought of losing her mother.  My sister-in-law is dealing with an ailing father.  Golfer's brother is starting a new job.  Our niece is planning a wedding.  So, all in all, it was a stressful trip.

And for me it didn't feel like home any more.  We still love Ohio.  And we will always support the Browns and Indians, no matter what!   But Golfer's Mom and Dad are gone.  My Mom is gone.  One of our first stops when we get there is the cemetery.  Aunts and Uncles are gone, too. 

We drove by the farm where Golfer grew up and the barn and out buildings have been painted light blue.  WTH, people, that's not a barn color!

I drove by my favorite house when I was young.  Mom and I had lived in several different houses in town.  This house had been a big old house with a long wooden stairway, good for sliding down!  There was a "secret" passage between two of the bedrooms.  It had a huge front porch with a swing.  The yard had many fruit trees, a grape arbor, a hand pump and cistern, a Spring house and a tiny pond.  Now the place is a square box;  no porch.  The trees are all gone, the pond filled in, the whole back yard is asphalt.  Sad.

It's always good to see our family, but now, for me, it doesn't feel like home anymore.  I think that I have always considered my home to be wherever Golfer and I were.  I feel safe and secure with him.

And on a much lighter note, why is it, that when you go back to where you grew up, everyone uses your middle name??  I stopped using mine many years ago and just use my middle initial when signing my name on something.  It seem funny to hear your middle name when people are talking to you!

Keep your memories and stay safe!